Still Waters

turbulentdeep @ 2009-06-23T06:05:00

2009-06-22T22:18:02Z

This is insane. Really. In a different context, if it had been you, I wouldn't be this conflicted. I would have said "yes" right away. But he isn't you... by any stretch of the imagination. And I don't think that's quite fair. Every guy who tries his luck ends up being compared to you. And the sad thing is, there is no competition.

I know that at this point, I've probably idealized you. I look back at what we had and ignore the pain and tears and stubbornly focus on the good times. It's like I don't want to move on, hoping you'll come back... But I guess, maybe you never will. :(

Prompt Table for 10_hurt_comfort

2008-11-26T05:17:16Z

~~Injured~~	Love	~~Sick~~	Broken	Emotion
Lonely	Jealousy	~~Tears~~	Fear	~~Fight~~
4/10

Prompt Table for 30 heartbeats

2008-11-26T04:47:30Z

01.	Intermission	02.	Breath Again	03.	Memory
04.	Silence	05.	Questioning	06.	No Time
07.	Trouble Lurking	08.	Foreign	09.	Midday
10.	Valium	11.	Standing Still	12.	Deep In Thought
13.	Keeping a Secret	14.	Two Roads	15.	Interval
16.	Choices	17.	Breaking The Rules	18.	I Can't
19.	Not Afraid	20.	In The Storm	21.	Can You...?
22.	Written in Stone	23.	Streaks of Red	24.	Incinerate
25.	Things You Can't Fix	26.	Change	27.	After Tomorrow
28.	Your Heart	29.	Into The Fire	30.	Prologue

Vita Et Belle

2008-02-25T12:43:03Z

It’s all so bizarre. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore. I have a theory though. I think that somehow, I’ve gone back to who I was before but part of me is still the person I have become. Somehow, the two of them coexisted and created a kind of internal time warp.

As I sit here reading my old journal, I realize that I miss having a handwritten journal. Somehow, it feels more personal that way. My only concern is the fact that seeing as how I have roommates, I am never sure of how secure my journal will be. Not that it should be a problem seeing as how much more dramatic my roommates’ lives are.

Macy has taken that giant leap with her boyfriend (the L word). By that I mean, living in. I’m just waiting for the wedding, at this point. Miel, who already has a boyfriend, is being pined after by one of her superiors at work. It’s like living inside one of those primetime shows. There are the standard relationship dramas, the pretty girls that the guys try hard to impress, the work or school or social dramas, and then there is the slightly (or totally) neurotic narrator who the audience knows better than his/her colleagues know about. So I guess this is where we start. Call me Belle.

Writer's Block: Love Is...

2008-02-15T03:42:42Z

Who or what do you really love?

View 500 Answers

The night is lit with the twinkle of the city lights. The wind that enters my apartment's window is cool, and surprisingly full of promise and possibilities. Late into the night and once again, I am alone. But as always, I am at peace. It's not often that I can allow myself to reflect, to think about my life, where it's going or where I've been.
It still feels like you're a million miles away... from me, from the boy you used to be, from what we had, whatever it was. It feels like just yesterday that I let you in and showed you how vulnerable I truly was. No facade, just brutal honesty. Maybe it was too brutal. There are wounds that never quite healed right, and you unwittingly added another one to my collection. My skin still feels like it's been rubbed raw.
But tonight, though I am alone, I feel more alive than ever. The night that is, and the city, does not demand of me what I cannot do and what I cannot be. And no matter how broken we are, it will stay the same: lit, alive and full of enormous possibilities.